I was alone
in a room, and it was quiet and spacious,
and I felt happy. Heard this before? (I bet.)
Then I wasn’t alone and it was crowded
and loud and people were telling me
what to do and
how I felt and that made me feel
limited, misinterpreted, angry, and judged;
and I had never even felt those fucking things.
They were imposedoneme / imposedonme :
‘friends’ and their unwanted ‘psychology;’
that don’t get it
in the slightest…
They just don’t stop. Are you kidding me?
And ironically, they think they are helping me.
The truth is: they need me,
just like a zombie. But I
must endure it,
the intention looks like purity.
We are now in the official Year of Detest.
Can I tell you something
(that suddenly occurred to me) of the nature of
(the other day)
that will make it
so you never have to (re)act ‘insane’(ly) again?
(you know what I mean, hahaa.)
…god i hate living in a social hierarchy…
Social media, that most wretched, is another
terrible, maniacal, hierarchy : fleshed out
someway, socially, on and on
Villainously, and heinously,
lacking as always in–what do you think?
The INTERNET is faceless: feeds off of energy.
But not aura energy, of organic bodies.
It is a dispassionate stream-being.
Even your Mother will hate you in there.
In the spindles of the WorldWideWeb.
A ‘public face’ & a ‘private face’ in an otherwise faceless
Multiverse. The simulacrum made through words
we toss around to socialize.
Not touch (not real connection: aural, aura, sight, and touch).
A simulacrum made from emulation, a full denial of living senses.
Language. Name. And ‘so on.’
how loosely these words speak:
the syllables, wobbly.
(I dare not mention semiotics, as I won’t
get into mechanics
or robotics). The meaning
already means things
before you repeat
it. You carry all with it,
the word is a planet.
People see their own worlds in words, their own worlds in you–
because it is not you they see,
it is them.
Or the same words being uttered
by others more ‘brothered’ than
to bother and understand
of your use.
So I’ll just stick to guttural nonsense for 12 hundred.
And the ricocheting of syllables to create unique
and never-before used meanings.
But this is all part of the amazing thing I am here to tell you today!
The purpose of this social structure (the bad one,
with the hierarchy),
is to validate through subtle persecution.
This is -a- definition of “friendship.”
But if someone really stands out for being
Excellent (they are outstanding,
they stand out),
of course he is praised a little,
Well, the Big Moral-Now-Mama
forgot to stir the pot of detest, and random
left-over resentments. Annnd: shit.
It boiled the over the fuck onto my shoes.
that’s really the worst
that -I’ve- provoked.
But the amazing, mundane discovery I wanted
to tell you:
We’re all just a name on a bill of resentment
that will eventually come up, and be checked off
for no other reason than:
our name is on the list.
We are there, “our time has come.”
And the worst,
the fucking absolute worst fact
I can fathom,
is that that day,
that their names are called for nothing
will mean more than anything
to some sad somethings who think they never existed,
and because if that one thought,
they never will.
It is a fear
that prevents them all
from living life.
In accepting that fate,
they have fulfilled the prophecy
of becoming Nothing More
than a Name on a Bill of Resentment.
copyright: C. Ward 2017